In this July 18.2021 sermon Fr. Chris Yaw, rector of St. David's Episcopal Church in Southfield, MI preaches on the importance of compassion.
So the restaurants are finally opening back up!
This has been great news to a hard-hit segment of our economy -
And for restaurants on Cape Cod in Massachusetts - it’s been great to finally call back the employees, fire up the kitchen, get out the table cloths, and welcome back the customers.
However that last part - about welcoming back the customers - has proven to be much more challenging than anyone anticipated...
Like all re-opened businesses that were hard-hit by the pandemic - there’s a shortage of employees - many, who had to be let go 18 months ago, found work elsewhere - and all of us have seen the ‘Help Wanted’ signs outside of restaurants. That means customers have to wait longer both for a table, and to get served.
And the production cycle for restaurants - especially specialty spots like farm-to-table restaurants - has taken quite a hit - this means menus are not as diverse as they once were - and restaurants can run out of a popular items much more frequently.
Apparently this is something the customers just aren’t handling well.
Last week, a group of diners at one Cape Cod restaurant got frustrated that they had to wait 40 minutes for their table. So instead of waiting they ordered their meals ’to-go’ - and then ceremoniously left the restaurant and dumped them out on the sidewalk.
Another group of customers, at a restaurant nearby, was unable to get the table they’d requested - so they threatened to sue.
Brandi Castellano, the owner of a restaurant there said:
“It’s like abuse, it’s things that people are saying that wouldn’t be allowed to be on TV because they would be bleeped. People are always rude to restaurant workers, but this far exceeds anything I’ve seen in my 20 years.”
Things got so bad at her place that, after one customer forcefully demanded to be served before the restaurant had opened - and made an employee cry, Castellano closed the restaurant down for a ‘Day of Kindness’ - to help the staff, and hopefully, the customers, take a deep breath - reset - and try again.
“Many of us didn’t survive the pandemic, for people to be this aggressive towards the ones that have, is disheartening.” she said-
Another restauranteur added:
“Giving us a little grace to come from zero to 60 would be nice.”
Sounds like people don’t just need a little grace - they need a little Jesus...
At least, the Jesus we read about this morning - when he’s surrounded by sick and hurting people - unable to get away for even a short rest - when the Bible says Our Lord looked on at these suffering folk and didn’t snap or dump his food - but ‘had compassion.’
-----------------
Compassion is always an important virtue - but moreso now - as we exit our pandemic, beat up and battered as we are-
Apparently we’ve drunk more alcohol -
Gained more weight -
Gotten more lonely, depressed, and insular-
So we understand why people are taking it out on restaurant workers - but that doesn’t justify it - that’s the easy way out - and Jesus calls us to do hard things - he asks us to have more compassion for one another.
That’s why I think it’s a great time to get back to church… and to not only be reminded in word and sacrament about our role of being compassionate people - but to reconnect with each other - and have some understanding about what we’ve all been through - to hear about what those around us are going through - so we might be more compassionate - and at the very least, avoid taking it out on restaurant workers.
The pandemic has brought distance to every one of us - we just haven’t been in one another’s presence for a long while.
Thank God for Zoom - and it may cut down on the distance but it sure doesn’t eliminate it - and when there’s distance there’s isolation that can breed depression, fear, and disconnection.
And so we need each other - for friendship, comfort, fun, security - and to grow just a little bit more in compassion.
-------------
Compassion, as we know literally means “to suffer together.”
Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.
Experts say compassion is made up of four components:
cognitive, affective, intentional, and motivational - here’s what’s meant:
The first aspect of compassion is being aware of the suffering - that’s cognitive
Second is feeling moved by the suffering - that’s affective
Third is wishing there to be relief - that’s intentional
And the fourth is a readiness to take action to relieve the suffering - or motivational.
And experts say compassion is like a muscle: that means it can be strengthen - we can get more compassionate.
However, it also means it can atrophy.
It all depends on how we use it.
And since you and I are called to be like Jesus, and look upon those who suffer with compassion, let's take a look at some of the things we can do to grow in compassion.
------------
Experts say that a good way to start a journey toward being more compassionate is to take an informal compassion inventory.
This is about noting, on an average day, when compassion naturally bubbles us inside us.
Try noticing times in the day when you feel, or resist feeling, compassion.
Maybe it’s when you’re watching the news and your heart goes out to a victim of tragedy - or when you’re driving and see a panhandler and feel anger at him.
Researchers say that you and I notice suffering rather often - be it our own or the suffering of others - but we quickly dismiss it and don’t allow ourselves to be emotionally touched or moved by it.
And so we can learn a lot about ourselves by noticing -
By noting when we are - and are not - feeling compassion.
-------------
Another way to grow in compassion is to engage with the science behind it.
There’s a place in Silicon Valley called the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, if you like abbreviations - it’s CCARE - and this Center, which is at Stanford University, sponsors research into how we might become more compassionate.
It’s also a good resource for finding meditation and writing exercises that have been scientifically proven to make people more compassionate.
If you go on their website - which we’ll put in the chat box - you’ll find a variety of research-based exercises and training programs that can literally make us more compassionate.
-----------
A third way to grow in compassion is to intentionally practice it: to make it a goal to do one compassionate thing every day.
If compassion is a feeling that arises when we are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering - then let’s try to think about someone, far or near, who could use compassion.
In preparing for this sermon I started doing this - and my first attempt was with our smallest child - who is in that life stage - I think they call it ’the terrific twos’ - and how I could show him compassion in putting myself in his shoes when he throws one of his frequent tantrums.
So I began to imagine what it must be like to feel what he is feeling.
And I began to wonder why he’s so upset:
Is he frustrated? In pain? Tired?
Does he need attention? Food? or a diaper change?
Then once I can sense what he may be feeling - to respond to that feeling -
He needs a band aid, a nap, or a hug.
How might we think about putting an intentional compassion-exercise into play for us this week?
Can we try to think of one person a day to be compassionate to?
Who can we think of needs us to do so?
------------
And a final way to move our needle toward being more compassionate is to hang around people who are compassionate.
I like to think that church is a good place to do that -
But you probably have friends - relatives - neighbors - or places to volunteer that have compassionate people as well.
And since we’re an amalgam of the 7 people with whom we spend the most time, we become more compassionate by being with people who are more compassionate.
----------------
And while growing in Compassion is certainly a goal of the Christian life - when we talk about compassion at church it’s important we note the ways it interacts with justice.
After all, Jesus didn’t get crucified because he was too nice…
No, compassion isn’t simply unbridled charity - compassion frequently demands confrontation.
Take a look not just at Jesus but at the social justice movements of the 20th century - and we see that things changed because compassionate people took action - they protested - they marched - they spoke up - for justice.
William Sloane Coffin argues that one big reason our society is not as just as it could be - is because churches vastly prefer charity, which in no way affects the status quo, compared to justice, which immediately leads to political confrontation of some kind.
Jesus’ compassion ran so deep that he could not avoid speaking out for justice.
He could not be silent in the face of widows being thrown out on the streets because greedy religious people were over-taxing them.
He could not be silent when he saw a woman being stoned by people who had sinned differently.
He could not be silent when he saw a religious establishment created to include everyone, shut out tax collectors, prostitutes, and the physically challenged.
Jesus showed compassion by speaking up - and that’s what we’re to do too.
-----------------
In 6 weeks, we’re launching n protest installation called ‘Remember Them: An Interactive Memorial of Violence Against People of Color for Reflection and Change.
It will be housed right on our back lawn.
We just got proofs back from the printer - and this is what the 100 faux-tombstones that will be planted on our back lawn will look like.
This interactive protest installation will bring awareness to the lives of people of color who should not have died at the hands of authorities or an unjust system -
It will include a book written by one of our parishioners, telling us, in detail, about the 100 people who died.
It will invite the neighborhood to reflect and ponder change.
And it will put the community on notice that the compassion of St. David’s runs so deep, we will not be silent in the face of injustice.
So, yes, Jesus is calling us to be compassionate - so Jesus is calling us to speak up -
And it’s not because we want to be politically correct -
It’s not because we want new members -
It’s not because we want to make the news -
It’s because Christ has called us to have compassion on those who are hurting - and when blacks are being shot, incarcerated, and denied full access to housing, education, banking, and a suffering from a host of other inequities - the good people of St. David’s are not going to sit on the sidelines and simply watch.
We are going to speak up - and speak up out of compassion.
The world needs compassion to fuel our voice to help heal our broken world -
How many of us wonder:
Hcan the world’s richest and most powerful country have:
A child care system that’s a disaster?
An education system that sends young people to colleges they can’t afford and saddles them with debts that take years, if not decades, to pay off?
An infrastructure that’s collapsing?
A major, ongoing, health care crisis?
And a population, half of which live paycheck to paycheck?
We all know the problems - and the solution begins with compassion: how can we better understand the suffering of the world - and do something to help alleviate it?
Let us pray for God’s spirit of compassion to move mightily among God’s people.
Amen.