Jesus' call to radically love is what got him killed. Fr. Chris Yaw explains that how we treat others is how we treat God - and that God's command to love God with our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength isn't for God's good - it's for ours.
Thanks Seth Godin and Kristin Neff for your assistance - https://self-compassion.org/
Danger and Radical Love
Mark 12:28-34 | Proper 26 | October 31, 2021
St. David's Episcopal Church, Southfield, MI
The Very Rev. Chris Yaw
Once upon a time, in a small town in a small country, there lived a beloved poet.
He wrote his poems on a wide variety of subjects, and there was no one in the town who was not deeply touched by the poet’s exquisite talent.
Then one day, the poet set off on a long trip to a foreign land - and the people were sad.
They sorely missed him.
Then one woman had an idea.
She asked everyone in the town to paint a portrait of the poet - with each portrait exhibiting that part of the poet that meant most to them.
Some painted in bold yellows and oranges to celebrate the hope the poet had brought them.
Others chose subtle hues of blue and brown to honor the poet’s wisdom that had touched them.
And others chose the green of the grass and trees to portray the poet as a teacher had helped them grow.
When the portraits were done, the townspeople built a large museum, and proudly hung the paintings there.
They thought that one visit to the museum, and a tour through all those portraits, would be as if they were gazing into the face of the poet himself.
The portraits of the poet, of course, are all of us - all of humanity.
And the poet is God.
Meaning that through you and me - each magical and majestic soul that God has touched - we, together, create an image of God.
That’s what’s meant when the Bible talks about this in Genesis - each of us are different - yet each reflect the touch of the Divine - which suggests how we should view ourselves - and how we should be viewing other people:
Each of us have been made in the image of God and contain that divine spark.
And this says a lot about how we’re to get along in the world -
Because the way we regard ourselves - the way we regard others - is the way we regard God.
A comedian named Rodney Dangerfield made a living out of making fun of himself:
‘When I was a kid my parents put me in the sandbox to play.
‘But the cat kept covering me up.’
'When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, “Look, twins!”
'I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.'
And yes, I could go on…
But the point is that we all put ourselves down… a lot… even too much.
Research by Kristin Neff shows - and if you don’t have Kristin Neff on your radar she should be - she’s one of the leading ’Self-Compassion’ researchers around -
But her research tells us that you and I are much more apt to talk badly to ourselves than we are to other people.
In other words, some of the things we tell ourselves - some of the ways we criticize and denigrate ourselves - we would Never do to other people.
And the big reason we do this is because we want to motivate ourselves - we want to do better - we want to be better.
But Neff says talking badly to ourselves is like eating Snickers Candy Bars for dinner: in the short term it does the trick - we are nourished, our ambitions are met - but in the long run it will only do us harm.
The more we talk badly to ourselves, and denigrate the work of God our creator, the more unhealthy we become, as negative self-talk is linked to increased depression and stress.
When we cultivate self-compassion, speaking more positively about ourselves, when we own the fact that the touch of the Divine is in us - that God finds each one of us worthwhile - and is willing to come alongside us to guide, forgive, and love us, this is how we live into the truth of God’s love for us - and live much healthier and balanced lives.
When you picture God looking down on you from heaven - what do you see?
Do you see God as perturbed? Wanting you to do better? Not quite satisfied - and not entirely happy with you?
Do you see God with a straight face? Looking indifferently at you? Perhaps waiting in judgment at what you’ve done or are about to do?
Or do you see God gazing down at you with an ear-to-ear smile on her face? So pleased, tickled, and delighted in everything about you?
I’ll give you a hint - the biblical witness points toward Choice #3 - that God is so utterly in love, ecstatically pleased, and unabashedly taken with you, that even God’s smile is inadequate at conveying how much God loves you and me.
And the approval, acceptance, and joy God has over us isn’t because it’s all about us - but because it’s all about all of us.
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Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach was well-remembered for saying that, ‘When we meet somebody, we should say to ourselves, ‘I’m going to fulfill the commandment to love my neighbor - and that starts with the person right in front of me.’
Another sage says, “When you see a person, imagine the Being of God and the Divine's effulgent light flooding through them, to you.”
Seeing others as God’s light-bearers to us - and not as adversaries, opponents, or competitors, is what this command is about. It is about realizing that God is in everyone - and that the way we treat others is the way we treat God.
And we are to treat them with love.
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We Christians take to heart the biblical definition of God - which is that God is love.
And today in our Gospel we hear the well-known command from God that we are to love God - first and foremost - with our whole heart, soul, mind and strength.
Why does God do this?
Why is this the first commandment?
Does God have some sort of insecurity complex - so that God needs our love:
‘Hey folks, I created you - now I command you to love me!
I feed off your adoration!
I revel in your praise!
I have to be loved by you!'
No.
We are commanded to love God not for God’s sake - but for our sake.
Here are some recent neurological findings that won’t surprise you -
It’s been said that, in a relationship, one mind revises the other; meaning that each partner is, to a degree, malleable, and will take on aspects of the other.
One heart changes its partner, and the other heart will change the other partner.
This is something brain researchers call limbic revision:
It is the power to remodel the emotional parts of the people we love, just as the people we love remodel emotional parts of our minds.
Apparently, the love shown toward the other, activates certain limbic pathways, and the brain’s memory mechanism reinforces them.
So here’s the conclusion:
Who we are, and who we become, is greatly influenced by whom we love.
Who we are, depends on who we love -
So when we are commanded to love God - it’s because God wants to activate our limbic pathways - God wants us to become lovers, just like God!
God is love and wants us to be that love — adding to our contentment, happiness, and fulfillment -
And to add to the contentment, happiness, and fulfillment of everyone else.
As we embrace love - we emanate that love to the world around us - bringing the reconciliation, forgiveness, and shalom that redeems the ‘bad’ in the world, making it more of what God wants it to be.
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Has anyone heard of the word ’sonder?’ S-O-N-D-E-R?
it’s defined as the moment we realize the depth of our common humanity - that we’re just like everybody else.
Sonder is that moment when we realize that everyone around us has an internal life as rich - and as conflicted - as ours.
That everyone has a noise in their head.
That everyone thinks that they are right, and that they have suffered affronts and disrespect at the hands of others.
That everyone is afraid.
And that everyone realizes that they are also lucky.
Sonder is the moment when we realize that everyone has an impulse to make things better, to connect and to contribute.
That everyone wants something that they can't possibly have - and if they could have it, they'd discover that they didn't really want it all along.
It’s that everyone is lonely, insecure and a bit of a fraud.
And that everyone cares about something. (Seth Godin)
God wants sonder to happen to us.
God wants us to realize our commonality with everyone else - because in doing that - in knowing how much each of us has in common - we can then truly treat others like we want to be treated.
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Friends, there’s a pandemic out there - and it’s not COVID-19 to which I refer -
No, there’s a pandemic of people treating other people badly.
Some of you heard men recently reflect on the mudslinging going on around Alec Baldwin's tragic, accidental killing.
As you may have heard, Baldwin, who was acting on a movie set, shot a prop gun that had mistakenly been loaded with real bullets, killing a cinematographer and injuring a director.
While the actor has been visibly distraught and penitent, some of the people who don’t like him started selling t-shirts that read 'Guns don't kill people, Alec Baldwin kills people.’
This kind of thing, sadly, goes on regularly in our world - and the call of Christ on our lives is to answer hate not with hate - but with love.
Let us think about Christ at his lowest, hanging on the cross, a helpless victim, watching his enemies draw lots over his belongings, all the while mocking and cursing him, what was his response?
Jesus looked upon his enemies not with hatred and vengeance, but with love. 'Forgive them,' is all he said.
He didn't hit back, scream obscenities, or print t-shirts.
Jesus loved.
Everybody.
My friend Bob says, to love God is to love the things God loves.
And God loves people. All people.
Sure God hates some of the things we do, our lying, cheating, selfishness, and indifference to suffering, but God does not hate us. Any of us.
Today’s lesson reminds you and me that Jesus was not put to death for being hateful, aggressive, or violent, but for loving.
He loved the poor and downtrodden enough to speak up for them.
He loved fairness and equality enough to champion it.
He loved people who had done despicable things enough to dine with them - tax collectors, prostitutes, and sinners - everybody.
No matter what other people said or thought, Jesus loved people. All people.
So we cannot love God and hate people.
No matter who they are or what they've done, our work is clear.
How can we trade in our tendencies to mock, denigrate, belittle, hit back, and take vengeance…
How can we trade those for love?
If this is hard for us, relax, it's supposed to be.
Loving without bounds is how we carry the cross.
It's how we share in the passion of the Christ.
It's the hard work of following Jesus.
Can we do it?
With God all things are possible.
Amen.