Sermon by The Very Rev Chris Yaw, 5/14/2023, Easter 6, Mothers Day
It’s different when you have a child at 25 than when you have a child 55.
The upside of older parenting is that, when it’s time to go to the movies - neither one of you has to pay full price.
The downside is that every once in a while someone asks you, ‘Is that your grandchild?’
To which you always respond, “No!”
And so as not to embarrass them too much you always add:
“That’s my great-grandchild”
But when it comes to child-rearing, there’s a lot that’s happened over the last 30 years - especially when it comes to discipline.
I was raised going to a religious school - and we had teachers who had meter sticks - who would threaten you with a swat on the knuckles, or a whack on your head.
However, these days we have learned that corporal punishment can be cruel and unhelpful. And what child rearing experts tell us today - is not to be physical - but to rely more on their inner sense of belonging - to put your child in ‘timeout.’
There’s a masterful book called ‘Magic 1-2-3’ which is about warning a child three times about their errant behavior before removing them from the scene - literally picking them up if that’s easiest - no yelling, no bodily threats - and calmly putting them aside - either on the periphery of the room, in their bedroom, or wherever - and keeping them there for 1 minute for every year of age they are.
We’re lovingly communicating the seriousness of their violation - and we’re appealing to a sense we all have - of belonging - of being an integral part of a community - and we see that this is so strong in children - that their behavior is almost always altered - it’s magic, 1-2-3.
This sense of belonging does not leave us as children - in fact it lies at the heart of many of our fears and insecurities: we want to fit in with others, we want to be admired or respected or at least get along with others - humans are ‘herd’ animals - knowing instinctively that we need one another to survive.
It is this fear that Jesus assuages when he says so profoundly in our Gospel, ‘I will not leave you orphaned.’
Now this word, orphan, of course means parentless - but that means so much more:
To be an orphan means to be without guidance, direction, physical, economic, or psychological care - an orphan is literally on their own with no one to care for them.
And Jesus says I’m not going to put you there!
Jesus will not leave us:
Without direction -
Without purpose -
Without potential -
Without guidance -
Without fulfillment -
Without a plan -
Without a sense of being needed and belonging - of knowing how important our lives are to God’s ongoing redemption and reparation of the world.
But if this is what Jesus is trying to get at - why do you and I sometimes feel otherwise?
Why do we suffer from so many of the worries we brought in to church this morning - why do we, at times, feel lonely, adrift, unfulfilled, and distressed?
The rest of this sermon is about how we might plumb Jesus’ words and ministry to figure out why that happens and what we might do to address it.
And what we find is that the energy and light that woke you up this morning - and I’m not taking about our alarm clocks - but the bright light of grace - ignited by the fire of our spirits, illuminated by the Spirit of God inside of us -
stands beckoning us to do more - awakening us from physical sleep and spiritual sleep - to more completely make us aware of the reality of Christ in us and around us, which is the key to living this life of abundance and fulfillment that Jesus is talking about.
Here’s what I’m talking about...
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My friend called Comcast out to his home to fix his Internet service.
He told the technician that there was something wrong - he couldn’t hook up to his Wi-Fi - and he wanted to technician to fix the cable hook up.
After an extensive re-checking of the lines, the technician said there was nothing wrong, and he asked my friend to power up his laptop and try to sign on.
My friend did but couldn’t get online.
That’s when the technician told my friend to simply follow the instructions he’d had all along on how to connect his computer -
And voila! There he was, back online.
The problem was not with Comcast...
It was not with the provider - it was with the receiver - which meant my friend got a hefty bill from the cable company to pay for the service call - to get him to read the instructions.
We pay a hefty price when we don’t follow the instruction.
To quote GK Chesterton - ‘Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and therefore untried.’
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A Mother’s Day story for you here about the birth of my friend's first child - a moment she shared with her own mother.
After the birth pangs, the frantic drive to the hospital, the agonizing few hours of labor, then the relief and aftermath of the birth - the nurse - who had taken the newborn infant to wipe off the birth fluids and wrap the child in a clean, white cloth, handed the baby to my friend and said, “Here you go, congratulations Mom!” to which my friend looked up, wide-eyed and confused, and tried to hand the baby off to her own mother, who was sitting next to her, saying “Oh it must be yours?”
“Nope!” said her mother, “Now, YOU’RE the mom!” -
Apparently, the confusion of the delivery - and the reality had yet to truly settle in that my friend now had a new name.
And how true it is when the Bible calls us by our new names - we react the same way!
When we are called: ’Saints’ and ‘Reconcilers’ and ‘Peacemakers’ and ‘Lights of the World’ we, too, don’t initially get this!
But that’s who we are - that’s who God says we are - whether we like it - or feel it - at all!
Of course, for my friend, she would never forget this new name - to a large degree because she would hear it tens of thousands of times - in whispers and shouts, with eye roll and unspeakable joy - isn’t this true mothers:
‘Mom (whisper),
Mom (Shout),
Mom (eye roll),
Mom! (excited)’
Moms hear these voices because they keep kids close.
They will not hear that voice when they’re across town.
They will not hear it when they’re in a different house.
They will hear it when they keep its source close to them.
We, too, hear God’s voice, when we keep it close to us.
Of course, I’m talking about keeping scripture close.
Of course, I’m talking about keeping prayer close.
But I’m also talking about listening for the voice of God in every other place we find ourselves.
After all, God never goes on vacation.
God never stops trying to speak to us.
God never stops listening to us - why should we stop listening for God?
God’s ever-present voice - in word, deed, and feeling - is all around us.
So, what has God been trying to tell you lately?
Who, what, when, where, and how has God’s voice been made known to you?
It is a voice of assurance, encouragement, and belonging amidst the cacophony of other voices.
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This week I was on an airplane to Los Angeles and back to officiate a funeral.
On the way back, it was an early flight and a man about 5 rows back staggered onto the plane totally fatigued.
He was a big man.
A very big man.
And he fell asleep
With his mouth open.
Head tilted back.
And a louder person snoring you have never heard…
Moms, I’m sure you have some stories about the men in your lives - but not like this one.
The staggered, sawing sound of 200-decibel snoring was heard 10 rows forward and 10 rows back.
It was louder than the jet engines.
It seemed like it was vibrating the seats - and even shaking the plane…
When the captain said to buckle up our seatbelts because we were going to go through turbulence - we knew what was causing it…
This snoring lasted the entire flight - more than 4 hours - and prompted unending glares and comments from the 40 passengers in front and behind him - who signaled for the flight attendants - endlessly - to shut this guy up.
The flight attendants - oh the flight attendants! - they had side-bar conversations of their own:
‘In 20 years of flying I’ve never heard snoring like that!’
‘It’s unstoppable, otherworldly, is this guy human!?!'
Countless times they had to tell a line-up of irate passengers:
“Look, we’ve tried, we’ve tried!” they said, “He stops for 5 seconds, then keeps falling back to sleep and snoring all over again!”
You could see how perturbed the people around him were -
Hands came from in front and behind trying to shake him awake.
Everyone was wearing headphones -
Businessmen snapped shut their laptops in frustration -
Women put pillows over her head trying to escape the cacophony of growling.
Then there was the guy next to me -
I was on the aisle of a row with 3 seats -
And right next to the guy in the middle - who must have eaten an entire can of baked beans, topped with a half an onion, and a huge side of broccoli right before boarding the plane - because this guy was tooting like you’ve never experience.
I have breathed fresher air in fraternity port-a-potties - and there was no slowing down this flatulent freight train.
The entire flight, the guy sitting by the window and I traded looks as the gassy middle guy, even though he slept most of the flight, expelled more noxious fumes than all 4 of our jet engines.
Passengers in front of us and behind us would turn their heads in curious disgust - wondering if the middle seat had been turned into an outhouse.
Everyone around us turned on their courtesy exhaust fans .
full tilt - you could see the cabin lights dim under their strain.
Men pulled up their turtlenecks -
Women sprayed perfume into handkerchiefs-
We were all convinced he was connecting to Chicago where he would bring new meaning to the ‘Windy’ city - as we all hoped and prayed to God Almighty that this guy’s gas gauge would hit empty sooner rather than later.
So what was the right thing to do - as we sat there unable to listen to or breathe in anything but super-annoying irritants?
What do you do when you’re thoroughly stuck in uncomfortable positions - that antagonize your senses and strain your patience?
How does complaining work for us?
Being rude?
Lashing out?
Passive aggression!?
Even bottling it up - adding more fuel to our resentment tanks?
What would the light inside of us prescribe?
We usually know...
Perhaps to be empathetic to the plight of those around us - the loud and stinky offenders - and those who were thoroughly disturbed all around them.
Maybe it’s to keep a settled heart and calm disposition - dwelling on the reality of God’s presence in all things.
Maybe it’s to give it to God - hand it off - get it out of the system as quickly as it comes.
Maybe we could even find a way to give thanks that we're on an airplane at all, because it would have been a much longer drive...
Maybe we would consider, and decide NOT to take the bait and be rude, unkind, or mean - but in the witness and strength of Jesus - to be understanding, even of the other passengers who were so quick to show their discomfort -
And maybe it’s to know in our heart of hearts, the truth of that line in our reading from St. Peter today: "If you suffer for doing right, you are blessed.”
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Friends, we are not left as orphans.
We have more strength, more guidance, and more courage than we know.
And we get even more of it as we become more aware of God’s voice, God’s presence around us.
So let us listen.
Let us listen to scripture.
Let us listen in prayer.
Let us listen to our lives - to the conversations, actions and varied situations that unfold all around you and me every day.
Because they’re speaking to us -
Jesus abides with us - he is with us and in us.
May we find ways to become more aware of his life, light, and love - today and always -
Amen.